Posted on Thu, Dec 20 2007 @ 18:04
2 comments

The One With Good & Bad News

I'm alive. Yes, I really am, it's amazing. The funny thing is that I'm finally able to blog and go like yay, blog, but I actually have nothing to say because so little has been going on in my life in the past couple of weeks.



Well, firstly there is my job, from which I'm so exhausted by now that I'm about to hang myself. But in true Maria-fashion, I enjoy every second of it and I just love going to work everyday. I just never in my wildest dreams thought that being a manager would be so exhausting. Starting this week they reduced my hours to only 44 a week though, but there is still the fact that I spend about 2 hours on traveling per day, so I don't really see my home all that much, and when I do, I'm so exhausted that I just fall asleep. aint I can fall asleep under any given conditions these days, as I've found out. I can fall asleep during a conversation on MSN, with the lights on, with the TV on, with the laptop on, with music on, with all of the above on… nice. At least I still manage to wake up on time. Mostly.



Well, apart from that, I finished all my essays and I only have 1 exam left, which is this Friday. Today is my day off (as if that's not obvious) so I'm taking the time to reply to emails and blog… and possibly other stuff. I have this image in my hand I want to paint in Photoshop… well, two actually, but I doubt I'll do it today. Can't wait to do it whenever I can though. I haven't had time for art in a millennium, it seems and it's killing me! On the brighter side, I finally had time to put up my Christmas tree and decorations, so yay for that. I love my tree, especially with the Irish sheepie at the top; so pretty . Photos are here and I will try to make more in daylight possibly today (although bearing in mind this is Ireland, it's 3PM and dusk already (and seeing as I'm doing a 100 things simultaneously, it won't be 3PM by the time I finish this blog). I also put up a few photos here that I took on my way to and from work of some buildings and Christmas decorations in our beautiful Dublin (believe it or not, some of these photos were taken around 8 AM). I only wish I had a good enough camera to capture exactly how beautiful this city is especially this time a year, and enough time to capture all of it, but for now I present you what I do have and hope you like.



Now onto the not so bright side, which I think will be the longest part of this blog.



It seems, as my mother decided to finally let me know, that my grandfather is in the hospital. He had had a fever for over a week (why tell me about these things) and they admitted him to the hospital because it got really bad, but right now he's just under observations and they don't really know what's wrong with him yet. He's my only surviving grandfather and although we aren't as close as I was with my mother's dad, it still kills me that I can't be there for him. Sometimes things are just fucked up.



Then there is my brother, who has been, thank the gods (or the aliens ), blossoming like a fresh flower since he left the army, as I knew he would, and I'm glad to see that I clearly still know him well enough after all to ignore all the bullshit my mom has been spilling in my ear about him being headed for self-destruction. Alex got himself a job, and registered for college (he's going for a diploma instead of a degree, in visual communication, but it doesn't matter because I'm so, so proud of him! ). He's just on the right track and I'm so happy for him and for the fact he can finally breathe the free air and reclaim his life. He has been through hell in the past three years and he deserves it. And according to mom, now that he gave up his uniform for good, he also started dressing like my brother instead of a street punk in his free time (which is now all the time ), and the sister in me says thank god for that. Judging by the clothes mom says he bought, my brother is headed in the right direction fashion-wise: elegant/casual, but elegant enough to impress but not enough for people to go thinking 'why the fuck is he dressed like that' (yes, some people do dress like that, completely senseless and off the occasion). But he did have good examples to differentiate reason from madness, so he won't end up being the guy who got everyone laughing at his fashion sense (or lack thereof ).



Now onto the bad news… he told me he wants to come over during Paddy's Day, but I can't get that time off work! They don't allow managers to take the Paddy's/Easter weeks off and that is non-negotiable . So yeah… I'm fucked. He already planned the whole thing with his friends and these dates work out well with his job. He told me that he waned to come a few days early by himself to be with me, but I can't. I just want to go punch a wall now or something, I'm that angry . I don't know what to do. The only thing, I'm gonna take whatever days I can off to accommodate him, but I'll be damned if I miss my brother being here. Fucking rules .



And the latest bad news is not in any way less devastating. Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's. When I heard it for the first time, I was devastated and honestly, I still am. My grandfather died of Alzheimer's. It was actually very simple: at a late stage he completely lost his spatial and contextual memory, wandered out of the house and never came back. His body was found weeks later outside town. It's just an example of that this disease provides with millions of ways to die; horrible ways, and most of them are not even neuro-biological causes, like in my grandfather's case. It took so many people, takes so many people, brilliant people, and until today, a hundred years after it was first discovered, it is still untreatable, still unstoppable and still largely unpredictable. And now, it's about to take one more person, one more brilliant, talented, person, who has given the world so much and left such a substantial legacy. That person has to go out like this. It just pains me so much that his has to happen, and that it has to happen to him. I'm sure I'm not the only devastated fan, and there is no diminishing how he himself feels, but the fact is that the world will lose, sooner than it was supposed to, one of its most gifted, most brilliant men, who still had so much to give. The world of literature in particular will never be the same.



He published the news himself, making a formal, official announcement. In his usual manner, he made it to be not at all serious and joked about the whole thing, also said he hoped there would be time for at least two more books. This is his official statement:



"Folks,

I would have liked to keep this one quiet for a little while, but because of upcoming conventions and of course the need to keep my publishers informed, it seems to me unfair to withhold the news. I have been diagnosed with a very rare form of early onset Alzheimer's, which lay behind this year's phantom "stroke".

We are taking it fairly philosophically down here and possibly with a mild optimism. For now work is continuing on the completion of Nation and the basic notes are already being laid down for Unseen Academicals. All other things being equal, I expect to meet most current and, as far as possible, future commitments but will discuss things with the various organisers. Frankly, I would prefer it if people kept things cheerful, because I think there's time for at least a few more books yet :o)

PS I would just like to draw attention to everyone reading the above that this should be interpreted as 'I am not dead'. I will, of course, be dead at some future point, as will everybody else. For me, this maybe further off than you think - it's too soon to tell.

I know it's a very human thing to say "Is there anything I can do", but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry."



The whole thing just makes me want to cry .

Mood: Sad and sadder
Listening to: Take That - Shine